


i don't have to like it but i can live with it

by opensoulsurgery



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe
Genre: F/M, angsty, i just have a lot of feelings about what this dynamic could be like, movieverse drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-06
Updated: 2012-11-06
Packaged: 2017-11-18 02:31:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/555907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opensoulsurgery/pseuds/opensoulsurgery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He sees her and flashbacks swim through his vision, but this time he doesn’t block them out. He sees her and he remembers the way her touch felt, the way it calmed him. He sees her and remembers the times he traced designs on her arm while she slept. </p><p>He sees her and he knows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i don't have to like it but i can live with it

He sees her and flashbacks swim through his vision, but this time he doesn’t block them out. He sees her and he remembers the way her touch felt, the way it calmed him. He sees her and remembers the times he traced designs on her arm while she slept. 

He sees her and he knows. 

He knows from the attention she gives him, the way her fingers linger on his arm for a second too long, the sound of her laugh - girlish and free and everything he loved - slips past her red lips (red, red like the blood in both their ledgers, blood that would never be wiped out, not really). 

He sees them and imagines himself in the other man’s position. 

He sees them and knows he’ll never be that man to her again. 

Eight months have gone by. It’s the second time he’s seen Natalia - no, Natasha, she was Natasha now - since he had been brought in. S.H.I.E.L.D wouldn’t let him see anybody, not her, not Steve, no one but men in suits and psychologists probing his mind (not that that was much anything new for him). It was eight months before they trusted him enough to give him back his independence. He spent those eight months thinking about his time as the Winter Soldier, the things he did, his days with Steve, the look on Natasha’s face when they brought him in, cuffed and barely conscious (but conscious enough to register the woman with the striking red hair and he tried to mumble her name, call out to her, but failed), with Captain America sluggishly dragging his feet in behind him, feeling responsible and all too guilty for what had happened to his former partner. 

The other man, the archer, the one called Clint Barton spared two seconds to tear his eyes away from Natasha and Natasha is quick to follow his gaze. There’s a split moment of surprise on her features, fading quickly before the soft, barely there smile replaces it. She moves towards him with the grace of the dancer she used to be and tells him that she’s glad they finally let them out of their sights. He wants to reach out, run his thumb across her lips like he used to do when they would spend the day in bed together after missions but the archer is behind her, eyeing him up, standing defensively and Bucky’s hand stays where it is. 

He tells her he’s glad too and he allows himself to fall comfortably back into the casual, smirking nature that he fronted with (but he doesn’t know if that’s Bucky or the Winter Soldier and the thought gives him pause). Natasha introduces the two men in the room, stepping back to allow them their introductions without her presence intruding. Bucky wonders if Clint knows about his and Natasha’s past and Clint wonders if Bucky knows about his and Natasha’s present. 

Only one man is concerned about the future and that man isn’t Bucky.

Because Bucky knows. Bucky knows from the way Natasha moves to Clint’s side when the introductions are over, Bucky knows from the way her eyes light up when Clint cracks a joke. Bucky knows that Clint will be the one to save her when she needs it most, and maybe he already has. 

Bucky knows and he accepts it for what it is because as long as someone is there for Natasha he will be alright. 


End file.
